31 Signs You're A Total Basic B*tch

Monday, October 23, 2017


What's wrong with being basic?

Like HELLO being a basic b*tch is the best thing ever, am I right?

So what if I'm obsessed with Pumpkin Spice Latte's, TK Maxx stationery section and Instagramming #freshset everytime I get my infills. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right?!

Join the basic b*tch club, hop onboard the basic b*tch bandwagon and revel in the basic world that is basic b*tchville.

So let's boomerang our prosecco glasses together, sit back and read the 31 Signs You're A Total Basic B*tch...


1. You've already Snapchatted, Instagram and Instagram-storied your first Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (or PSL for you extra basic b*tches) of the season. So festive.

2. You act like you don't even know what "basic b*tch" means - like yeah wtf I don't even fit the criteria *eye roll emoji*

3. To go with your basic b*tch lifestyle you also suffer from chronic resting b*tch face syndrome. Fact. 

4. You complain about other basic b*tches filling your newsfeeds with soppy engagement photos and Pinterest-worthy pics of them loving life on a swing in Bali. Like I'm not even jealous, I am quite content sat here swiping left on Tinder, declining all potential male interest and devouring my family sized bowl of pasta thank you very much.

5. Your daily vocabulary features "Hun" and "Babe" more times than you'd like to count.

6. You actually use said words so much when texting other basic b*tches that you've actually started to say it out loud. Ugh, as if!

7. A Thursday isn't a Thursday if you're not scrolling through your camera roll trying to find a sassy yet candid pic to post for #TBT whilst marinating in Bondi Sands Ultra Dark tan lying naked on your bed.

8. Taking photos is so last year, let's boomerang instead. Pop ya hip and raise ya glass sister, this ones going on the 'gram.

9. You pretty much abbreviate all adjectives #totes #amaze #defs

10. You're obsessed (whether you admit it or not) with the Kardashians. OHH KRUUUR

11. If you're ever feeling like your outfit is a steady 8/10 you whack on a pair of XL silver hoops and feel fabulous, unstoppable and a solid 10/10.

12. Your go-to outfit is all black errythang. Black on top, black on bottom and black heart to match.

13. You're a little bit obsessed with going out for Brunch. Like c'mon, it's breakfast AND lunch at a reasonable time of the day. Sold.

14. And you love Instagramming your Brunch. #AvoOnToast

15. Your underwear drawer is all Primark lace £1 thongs in every. single. colour. 

16. You commit, what I like to call, "carbicide" on the reg and consume enough carbs to feed a small village yet always tell yourself you're gonna cut them out of your diet. Lol who am I kidding pass me all the bread.

17. Your friends and other basic b*tches would describe you as "so sassy" and you love it. *Flicks weave*

18. You are STILL quoting Mean Girls lyrics and will always till the day you die. I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK.

19. You live for Snapchat filters. 

20. You have a not-so-secret love for Pinterest and defo have an inspirational quotes board. 

21. You have, or at some point during your basic b*tch existence, contemplated getting an infinity sign or dream catcher tattooed on you. 

22. You defo own more than one Victoria's Secret body spray and always buy it when it's on offer in Superdrug. Mmm that sweet, sweet smell of basicness.

23. You secretly love Taylor Swift and identify with her song "22" even if you're not 22.

24. You like to think you're a wine or G&T kinda girl when really you'll settle for a Vodka and Coke anyday.

25. You've felt personally victimised by Regina George.

26. You have defo had a photo of you at a club with a sparkler in your mouth. Classic.

27. You've had a meltdown on more than one occasion and told yourself that if Britney can get through 2007, you can get through today.

28. You tag your gal pals in memes and videos more than you speak to them. It's basically the new way of communication.

29. You use the "sassy girl" emoji on the reg because it just fits in with your current life sitchu.

30. You've defo uploaded a pic of your girl gang and hashtagged #squadgoals

31. You're reading this and thought OH EM GEE I am a total basic b*tch. Well HOLLA for a DOLLA and join the club sister!

Peace out basic b*tches xxxxxxx

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