13 Reasons To Be Happy That You're NOT at Glastonbury

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Ahh Glastonbury. That iconic music festival that we 're really glad about that we're not at right now :) :) :)

No I'm promise. I'm glad I'm not there. And here are 13 reasons why we should all be happy that we're not at Glastonbury because if we were at Glastonbury we'd have no signal or battery left on our phones to read this post so there's a bonus.

1. I mean who really wants to see Kanye West perform live. He's not even that good and I certainly haven't been obsessed with him, his music, his wife or his wife's family for the most part of my life.

2. Who really wants to be waking up in a tent surrounded by your friends (plus *probably* someone you don't know) reminiscing of all the amazing artist you witnessed perform live the night before.

3. What's that great about being drunk 24/7, not having a care in the world and just living in the moment anyway?

4. I'm happy here in my monochrome outfit rather than wearing festival clothes like flowers and wellies and a vajazzled pac-a-mac.

5. It's not like really big artists are going to perform y'know like Pharrell Williams, James Bay, Rudimental, Clean Bandit or KANYE WEST - to name but a few.

6. Why torture your tastebuds with over 250 food stalls serving round the clock grub from the Far East to the Wild Wild West anyway. There's *probably* a perfectly delicious and *probably* out of date Tesco ready meal in the fridge waiting for you at home.

7. Who wants a once-in-a-lifetime experience anyway?!

8. Who wants to experience more than 500 artists over 100 stages in real life? I'm sure BBC3 will have fab coverage of the festival.

9. Having a mud fight doesn't even look that fun. Especially not in your fave Hunter wellies.

10. Yeah I'd probably rather be at work or school.

11. It's defo not on my bucket list to see Kanye West perform live.

12. Did I mention that Kanye West was going? Yeah defo another reason why it's fine that I'm not there.

13. Who really wants to have an amazing time surrounded by good people, once-in-a-lifetime experiences, great music and iconic musicians HA not me.

Who am I kidding how can you we be happy that we're no going to Glastonbury *weeps in said Tesco ready meal* OF COURSE there's some part of us that wants to be at Glastonbury I mean c'mon it is Glastonbury that we're talking about.

I guess Kanye will have to wait another year. Soz Yeezy.

Thank you for reading!



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